Catching up

The observant among you may have noticed a degree of radio silence on my part recently. Apologies - I've been extremely busy with (in no particular order, as Dermot O'Leary might say):

1. Work - the timing of which couldn't be better - not;
2. Illness - labarynthitis, heavy cold, vomiting bug, back spasms...you name it...;
3. Being smug about how the Ashes series is progressing down under - until this weekend - will I ever learn?
4. Various Christmas commitments, mostly involving the kids' school;
5. Mrs F's birthday;
6. The Varsity Match - decent piss-up, dreadful game, bad result;
7. Fuming about Newcastle United's treatment of Chris Hughton;
8. Being entirely unsurprised at FIFA's decision not to award the 2018 World Cup to England (thank heavens for the utterly transparent and non-corrupt IRB eh?)
9. Being obsessed with the snow - the weather being a very British obsession;
10. Giggling at Brendan Venter's "Mike Bassett - England Manager" interview (below):

Odds & Sods

A mixed bag of rugby news in the last week or so and that's without focusing too much on any of the matches played.

The proposed "consultancy" arrangement between Worcester Warriors and Dean Richards is an odd one. Deano, quite rightly, is looking for loopholes in the ERC judgement against him that might allow him to continue earning a living from the game. Although certain scribes seem outraged by the proposed flouting of the 3 year ban, quite frankly it would be no more than the ERC deserved for their indecent haste in scapegoating Richards as the apparent sole culprit of the Bloodgate affair and their total disregard for due process in reaching their judgement.

Meanwhile, while Leicester's Director of Rugby, Richard Cockerill, was able to participate in his team's narrow victory in the Premiership Final, his Saracens counterpart Brendan Ventner was banished to the comfort of his own living room (where presumably he was free to eat biscuits without censure). This despite Cockerill's outburst at officials during his team's semi-final win over Bath last month. Level playing field? I think not.

Perhaps the most bizarre story, however, is the fact that Toulouse forward and Tongan World Cup star Finau Maka stands accused by the French authorities of "modern slavery" having, allegedly, imprisoned a Tunisian bloke in his house for over three years.

And finally...not being the sort of bloke to kick a man while he's down, I have very little to say about the reported split between Ms Voice of an Angel and Mr Skin of a Satsuma. However, now that he is unlikely to be featuring in the pages of OK! magazine for the foreseeable future let's hope we now see a little more of the aforementioned El Naranja in the sports pages of the daily papers for a change.

Biscuit-gate

After Bloodgate, now we have Biscuit-gate.

All sorts of shenanigans this week surrounding the RFU's disciplinary action against Saracens' Director of Rugby, Brendan Venter, who appears to have been handed a 14-week ban for eating a biscuit during the disciplinary procedure.

The RFU's 11-page statement referred to Venter's "arrogant behaviour" during the hearing which apparently included "eating a biscuit".

"You don't go into the Old Bailey eating a biscuit. You show a degree of respect to the process in the court," said Old Fart in a Blazer Chairman of the RFU Management Board, Martyn Thomas.

"Why did the RFU provide biscuits if they were not to be eaten?" asked Sarries Chief Executive Edward Grifftiths, perhaps not unreasonably.

Meanwhile Sarries hooker Schalk Brits received a reprimand as to his future behaviour after being observed sucking a sherbet lemon.

The plot thickens...