Seconds out, round two?

The brown stuff could be about to hit the fan yet again at the RFU as chairman Martyn Thomas faces a possible vote of no confidence at tomorrow's AGM for his handling of the John Steele Woodwardgate fiasco.

Apparently the AGM will consider the findings of an inquiry led by Judge Jeff Blackett who, having interviewed all the relevant parties (including Sir Clive), has compiled a 52-page report.

The Telegraph reports that, in true kangaroo court style, a group of unhappy alickadoos council members will discuss their grievances and plot strategy at a West London curry house this evening.

The outcome could be a vote of no confidence which, if the 58-strong# council were to pass, would undoubtedlly plunge the RFU into turmoil.

And with no more than 2 months to go before the Rugby World Cup starts, the timing could not be better.

# so in fact there are 58 old farts, and not 57 as most reasonably-minded people believe.

The Lunatics have taken over the Asylum (again)

So, following an emergency board meeting John Steele has, after all, been forced out of the RFU over his handling of Woodward-gate.

The blazers have flexed their flabby muscles and the power of the executive has been entirely emasculated. Who in their right mind would take on the CEO role now?

Sponsors Investec have already bailed out.

And all this 3 months before a World Cup.

Will Carling called it right in 1995 with his "57 old farts" comment.

Plus ça change (plus c'est la même chose).

Dinosaur spotted in SW London

But seriously...

Subsequent to my previous tongue-firmly-in-cheek reactions to the below events, please find below my carefully considered and mature responses:

Woodward-gate
An utter shambles. Having completely undermined their Chief Executive, the blazers at the RFU still didn't get their man and have made themselves and their organisation look ridiculously out of touch (again). Sir Clive is well out of it, and if I were John Steele I'd be dusting down my CV.

Tuilagi-gate
A very, very luck boy. Judge Blackett's reasons for only imposing a 5 week ban are pretty much unfathomable. If rumours are to be believed, young Manu is still being seriously considered for the World Cup squad. If he does make it, what kind of message will that send out?

Woodward set for new role?

It has emerged overnight that Prime Minister Gordon Brown has asked former England rugby supremo Sir Clive Woodward to spearhead the Labour Party's forthcoming campaign for the General Election.

Sources inside the Labour Party indicate that the Party's hierarchy have concluded that Brown is more or less unelectable without outside help, hence the return of Tony Blair to endorse Brown's credentials earlier this week and the recruitment of the man who delivered Rugby World Cup glory to England in 2003.

It is understood that the power-brokers behind the deal are Blairites Peter Mandelson and Alistair Campbell, Blair's former spin doctor who formed a close bond with Woodward during the 2005 British & Irish Lions tour to New Zealand.

Various rumours have been circulating in recent days regarding a planned return by Woodward to Twickenham as a probable replacement for RFU Director of Elite Rugby Rob Andrew. It appears, however, that such rumours were an elaborate smokescreen and that Woodward's ambitions are far loftier.

If Labour succeed in being elected for a record consecutive fourth term it is not known whether Woodward - currently the Director of Elite Performance at the British Olympic Association - will be offered a Cabinet role. Much will depend on whether he decides to accept a proposed peerage to sit in the House of Lords or whether, as is rumoured, he would prefer a seat in the House of Commons. To this end it is believed that Labour are investigating the possibility of parachuting Sir Clive into a safe seat for the Election.