Genius?

Did Marc Le Fou have his Eureka moment in the bath this week?

Or is it simply the case that the injury to David Skrela, the ineptitude of François Trinh-Duc and the coach's preference to lose to the All Blacks on Saturday have conspired to produce the selection of Morgan Parra at fly half?

"Farce!" screams the NZ Herald, but of the French 22, apparently 14 have previously beaten the All Blacks (with 6 having beaten them twice). The French team may well be a collective basket case, but Parra's selection at 10 is so gloriously bonkers it could prove to be inspired. 

Merci, Patron

It very much looks like the French team may have to play this Rugby World Cup without much support from coach Marc Le Fou.

Lièvremont labelled his team's overall effort against Japan as being "polluted with approximations, technical errors, indiscipline", adding "a dozen penalties against us and so many mistakes made on moves that were relatively easy."

He also singled out Imanol Harinordoquy, as being "very lackadaisical" while half backs Dimitri Yachvili and Francois Trinh-Duc were merely "lacklustre."

The solution?

"They’re the ones playing, they are out on the pitch, it’s up to them to sort out the problems."

Cheers, coach.

Hacked off

The NEWS OF THE WORLD is not the only publication (or, in the NOTW's case, ex-publication) capable of phone hacking. Our investigative reporters here at Total Flanker are also quite a resourceful bunch and have made full use of the latest technology to bring you the following extracts from the voicemails of certain well known rugby personalities:

GAVIN HENSON:
"What's occurin'? This is Gav. I'm not yer right now but I'm available for reality telly shows, weddings, barmitzvahs and, if there's nothing else on, Rugby World Cups. Leave a message..."

(BEEP) Gavin? Mate, it's Warren. Warren Gatland. If you're not too busy mate it'd be great if you could come to Poland with us for a bit of a runaround. I'll understand if you can't make it but please try eh? Please. Pretty please? Call me.

JUDGE JEFF BLACKETT:
"This is Jeff Blackett. I can't come to the phone right now as I'm compiling a 126 page report for the RFU council looking into the ineffectiveness of the RFU's Chief Disciplinary Officer."

(BEEP) Blackett you bastard. You try, just try, to publish that report you wrote about me and I'll have your (beep) guts for garters you (beep). Your (beep) feet won't touch the ground you (beep). You'll never work in this town again, dammit, do you hear me? I'll take you for every (beep) penny you have, you miserable (beep). Oh, it's Martyn by the way.

GRAHAM HENRY:
"Hello. Right Reverend Graham Henry here. Just leave your confession after the tone and I'll send you the invoice."

(BEEP) Boss? It's me, Dan. Mate, we're screwed for the World Cup. Those Aussies look awesome. What do we do boss? Practice more drop goals? Call me.

DANNY CIPRIANI
"Hi this is Danny. I can't come to the phone right now as I'm sat at home with a cup of cocoa and a good book. I'm definitely not out on the town with some Z-list celebrity slapper. Certainly not. Honest."

(no messages)

MARC LIEVREMONT
"Allo, c'est Marc. Laissez-moi un message. Pas vous Chabal."

(BEEP) Merde! Sob! Sob!...

Cowards

Sébastien Chabal, Jérôme Thion, Yannick Jauzion, Clément Poitrenaud, Aurélien Rougerie, Sylvain Marconnet.

"They are lacking in courage. They are good guys but cursed with what is obviously cowardice."
Marc Lièvremont.

The continuing adventures of Marc Le Fou...



"gibber, gibber"



"We appreciate our Italian cousins with whom we share the same quality of life, we appreciate the Celts and their conviviality … and among all these nations we have one huge thing in common: we don't like the English."


In other breaking news, the Pope was today revealed to be Catholic...