On a mission from God?

Jake White & Eddie Jones

Following the Springboks' disastrous 2010 Tri-Nations campaign it appears that Jake & Elwood (White & Jones) are ready to put the band back together at short notice in an effort to salvage the 2011 World Cup campaign.

It's clear that the Springboks have problems which can't all be explained away by the new law interpretations. The last time I checked it wasn't illegal to tackle for instance. It appears, however, that the collective will of the players is no longer sufficient to hide the shortcomings of their head coach.

So what's to be done? Apparently Jake and his band are ready to start next week if required, but I'd advise the SARU against a knee-jerk reaction. P de V is a great bloke, top coach and is in no way insane. Do us all a favour and keep him in place - at least for the next 12 months.

Remarkable

photo: rugbymatters.net

The New Zealand women's rugby team are simply outstanding.

Not only did they beat an excellent England team in Sunday's Women's RWC Final to secure their 4th consecutive world title, they did so having played hardly any international rugby during the past 4 years.

Consider this. From losing to New Zealand in the 2006 RWC final in Canada through to the start of this tournament, the England team played over 30 matches, winning the Six Nations on 4 occasions (including 3 Grand Slams) and arguably setting the standard for women's international rugby worldwide.

The Black Ferns, on the other hand, played 6 times in the same period. That's all - SIX matches in 4 years, an astonishing statistic which makes their victory on Sunday all the more remarkable.

Another player comes out

Ageing backrow forward, Total Flanker, an occasional member of the Chesham Veterans XV, today astonished absolutely no one when he admitted to the world that, actually, he was quite dull.

"It's true," he said. "I've been living a lie all these years, pretending to be funny and interesting when really all I yearned for was a quiet beer in front of the telly.

"I know I'm letting down many people who think of me as the life and soul of the party but my secret life has been tearing me apart and I just can't keep up the pretence.

"It was obviously a huge shock to my wife and family who had no idea. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt them but they have been amazingly supportive."

The overweight loose forward hopes going public will inspire other rugby dullards to come out of the closet and has been encouraged by the reaction of current and former playing colleagues who appear to have taken the news in their stride.

"Fair play to him, I always suspected he was a boring bastard," a former team mate responded when told of the news.

Breaking News

Apparently Gareth Thomas is gay.

What - you hadn't heard?

Obviously not content with the largely measured "fair enough" non-reaction to his coming out from the rugby public at large, barely a day goes by now without Thomas appearing in the press somewhere to declare how his coming out was the best thing that ever happened to him, how great his life now is, how Mickey Rourke wants to make a movie about him, how Manchester should host a gay rugby tournament, how wonderful it is to be the only gay in the village...

Seriously, Gareth, enough already. We get the message.

What Danny did next #3

He may claim that it's all just a bit of fitness training, but Danny Cipriani's continued flirtation with the round ball game suggests otherwise.

After stints with with QPR and Spurs in London it appears that Cipriani is now flaunting his wares at the MLS team the Colorado Rapids in the USA.

Apparently a talented footballer as a teenager (he was once offered youth terms by Reading), Cipriani is, according to Rapids' communication manager Jason Gilham, looking to secure a contract with the MLS franchise.

"I think he is looking at that possibility," says Gilham. "It is something that is being looked at from both sides."

Danny is, of course, still expected to show up in to Australia shortly to play for the Melbourne Rebels who are expecting him on 1st October.

"We have seen no evidence to say that he is not coming," says Rebels coach Rod McQueen. "Other than the fact that he's lifting his skirt for any football team that'll have him." (OK, so I made up that last bit).

The Final Countdown

photo: rugbymatters.net

Well, as expected, the Women's Rugby World Cup final on Sunday will feature England vs New Zealand, after both teams won their respective semi-finals yesterday.

England put away a cussed Australia 15-0, but will face a huge task against the reigning champion Black Ferns who apparently have not lost a World Cup game since their semi-final defeat against the United States in 1994 and who comfortably saw off France 45-7 yesterday at the Stoop.

For both teams (and indeed all the other teams in the tournament) Sunday will be the 5th game in 17 days - which is a tremendous achievement in itself and testament to the fitness and conditioning levels of the players involved.

Inevitably mainstream media coverage of the tournament has been patchy at best but John Birch over at the Letchworth Girls Rugby blog has covered more or less every second...

Cockers = Legend

There may not be the characters in the game that there once were, but try telling that to Leicester DoR Richard Cockerill.

Always a no-nonsense sort of bloke as a player (compulsory for the Tigers front row I'd imagine), coaching has hardly mellowed him - as the below quote regarding his man-management amply demonstrates:

"Look, if it were down to me, I wouldn't let any player wear any colour boot other than black. They wouldn't die their hair blond, or drive around in poncey cars either. But that's not the world we live in.

"As long as they play well and their attitude is good and they train really hard, I'm a little more forgiving, even though I still might think that bloke's a prat because he wears white boots."

Classic! I couldn't have put it better myself.

Even better was his reaction to Jordan Crane revealing the extent of an ankle injury on Twitter:

"Jordan has twisted his ankle and has got a bit of damage in there and we are awaiting the results of a scan. It’s not ideal, but we will wait for the prognosis. He’s now banned from tweeting or whatever you call it.

"And the next time he does I will break both of his ankles - and you can quote me on that."

Legend!