Drink Police

And now for something completely different.

TV3 in New Zealand report that drunk Maori will be specifically targeted during the Rugby World Cup by a 50-year-old law that allows Maori wardens to enter bars and remove them.

According to the report, the wardens were trialled after the South Africa v All Blacks game in Wellington a fortnight ago and the plan is to use them around the country during the Rugby World Cup.

Despite claims that the initiative is out-dated and racist, here's how I see it working. Imagine the scene in a city centre bar:

MAORI WARDEN: Mate, you're drunk. You Maori?

DRUNK MAORI: Nah mate - Samoan.

MAORI WARDEN: Right ho. Carry on.

Can't fail.

Colour Blind

According to the Grauniad, unofficial stats (which I guess could mean that they are just made up) show that England's penalty count drops by 25% when they wear a shirt colour other than white.

"Interesting" is my middle name.

No Moody Blues

At least not yet.

News today that England skipper Lewis Moody has, following a scan, been diagnosed with a "mild" medial ligament strain in his right knee.

Officially the RFU is still "optimistic" about him taking part in the World Cup although, perhaps tellingly, no target date has been set for his return by the England medical team.

I have my doubts. It’s the same knee that was crocked ahead of the 6 Nations, Moody’s not getting any younger, he's no stranger to injury and getting him back up to speed isn’t going to be easy. Unless absolutely 100% fit, I’d say there’s no sense in taking him to New Zealand ahead of Hendre Fourie or Chris Robshaw, despite the undoubted leadership qualities he brings to the group.

Danny Cares

Well done to Danny Care on Saturday. Not for his performance particularly, but for the way in which he managed to get ref Steve Walsh to stop the game so that Morgan Stoddart’s horrendous broken ankle could be attended to.

 “Great sportsmanship from Danny Care, great to see,” tweeted Welsh centre, Jamie Roberts and quite right too, especially as it seemed as if Care had to argue with Walsh who appeared to be telling him to play on.

 “Anybody would have stopped the play”, says Care, and perhaps he’s right. It doesn’t make his actions any less impressive though.

Care by name…

The weekend that was...

The RWC phony war is well and truly underway, with Tri-Nations and northern hemisphere warm-up internationals competing both for column inches, and our viewing attention.

And what have we learned this weekend?

1. that New Zealand are currently right in the groove, more than a month ahead of when they'll need to be;

2. that no one seems either willing or able to give the All Blacks a decent game - which, if I was a Kiwi, would concern me hugely;

3. that Ireland's strength in depth is surprisingly half-decent;

4. that Scotland's strength in depth just isn't;

5. that Wales look to be in desperate need of a coach who will loosen the tactical straightjacket; and

6. that England in black didn't look so bad after all.

Bonkers

South African head coach Peter de Villiers deserves a medal after 4 years in charge of the Springboks.

So says South African head coach, Peter de Villiers!

"And a big one too," he adds.

He is also "90 per cent sure" that South Africa will win the Rugby World Cup, is confident that the moon is made of cheese and insists that the IRB is actually under the control of shape-shifting alien reptiles who require periodic ingestion of human blood to maintain their human appearance.

Only the latter claim has any credence.

And then there were 40…

Currently surplus to Johnno’s requirements are:

JOE WORSLEY – frankly a shock that old Melon-Head made the initial 45 man squad. Piano skills not enough to save him.

THOMAS WALDROM – surprised that the Tank Engine has returned to the depot so soon. Decision will no doubt pacify some of the Little England brigade.

GEORGE CHUTER – always going to be a tight call with Lee Mears. Leicester connection and beard-growing ability obviously not enough.

JAMES SIMPSON-DANIEL – sadly destined never to be a force at international level.

DAVID STRETTLE – no longer looks like he was separated at birth from the Mayor of London. Nevertheless, has lost out to the mostly over-rated Ugo Monye and the largely unknown Charlie Sharples (possible surprise late RWC bolter).