6 Nations 2011 - Chumps

OK, hot on the heels of having given credit where it's due, here's a cold, hard and mostly unfair appraisal of those who, in my humble opinion, failed to pull up trees during the last 7 weeks:

15. Lee Byrne – now plays rugby in his plimsolls, judging by his inability to keep his feet.

14. Chris Ashton – re-defined wing play in rugby union (yeah, right) before proceeding to butcher chance after chance. Needs to grow up and lose the ridiculous dive.

13.  Matt Bananaman - not an international centre. Not even a centre.

12. Nick Le Luca – even less of an international centre than Bananaman. Actually, even less of an international centre than I am!

11. Yoann Huget – I know it served Ben Cohen well, but being a big lump simply isn’t enough.

10. Dan Parks – game changing substitute at Twickenham, the problem being that he changed the game in England’s favour.

9. Ben Youngs – harsh perhaps, but utterly lost the plot in Dublin when it mattered the most. Mike Phillips a close 2nd.

1. Andrew Sheridan – the strongest man on the planet but as delicate as a hummingbird with osteoporosis.

2. Ross Ford – handed off by Ronan O’Gara. That’s Ronan O’Gara. Nuff said.

3. Euan Murray – religious beliefs now mean that he apparently only scrummages on a Tuesday between 3.00 and 4.00 am.

4. Julian Pierre – what is the point of him, exactly?

5. Simon Shaw – so far past his sell by date that even the local corner shop would refuse to stock him.

6. Nathan Hines – in no way, shape or form is this man a backrow player

7. John Barclay – managed to talk Roman Poite into giving him a yellow card at Twickenham.

8. Sebastien Chabal’s Waxwork Dummy. Need I say more?